Jack clearly didn't seem to agree with the Master on this matter, but the way that the Doctor was sidestepping the conversation implied that it had gotten to him, even just a little. Jack had known the Doctor well enough to know his habits when it came to things getting to him.
"Then he must have loved the hell out of you," he said with a grin to the Master. "You're a mess, darling." Okay, so the Doctor may have abandoned him on that satellite, and maybe tried to ditch him by travelling to the end of the universe... but Jack was a mostly agreeable kind of guy, so why hold grudges?
"You're upset. You're also a dick. He's trying to be nice to you and you keep being a prick. And I know you really don't care, but he does. And you've got to deal with him. And fair warning, if the Doctor's upset, so am I."
The Master, because he was a total childish brat, purposefully pulled the banana flavoured ice cream over with the intent to eat it all. Even if he despised the taste of banana. Because if he was stuck here, miserable and bored, so would the Doctor be. And hopefully the freak too. Though he less wanted to bore Jack and more scare him. Or anger him. Honestly, he'd settle for endless unsettled annoyance.
With a bitter laugh, the Master smirked at Jack, unable to help himself. Well, he was right on the money. Look at what a life time of the Doctor's love and rejection did to a man. Well, that and the fact that he was just very happy when he hurt people. So many reasons why but why bore everyone with them? The Master had no intention of changing.
"Trying to be nice? What's nice about this? Imprisoned when I should be dead, locked alone all day with the drums tearing my mind apart and all the while he looks at me with such pity," the Master turned to the Doctor, a glare set on his face. "I don't care if I upset either of you. Honestly, it makes things all the more bearable for me. If I have to suffer here, so do you two. And trust me when I say I can do that."
Even psychologically, he knew he could ruin them both with time and the right ammo. "He's upset for a reason, you know? Can't even take the truth."
"I'm not being nice. You've said it yourself. Why would I be nice to you at this turn? For all you've done you don't deserve any better than to suffer." The Doctor seemed fairly in control of his feelings at the moment, although there was a slightly worrisome glance toward the ice cream. "If you ever become more like yourself again, your brilliant, beautiful self, then you won't think this is all that bad." He shrugged and put his feet down, leaning back in the chair. "If not, well. In that case I reckon you'll just have to keep suffering. Too bad, too. You could be so great."
The Doctor looked at him for a few moments longer, than he shook his head and turned to Jack. "You have an entirely too high opinion of me. No idea where that comes from." He smiled anyway, because Jack's presence made the Master's words have so much less impact. So much easier to put up a front when someone else was present. "Enough ice cream, I believe. But thank you for not hitting him."
The Doctor's words were actually rather surprising to Jack. He'd never heard him be so deliberately *mean* before. It was quite startling, actually. He swallowed and rested his cheek in his hand, listening to the Doctor.
"We worked with UNIT. They might have had some interesting things to say about you, but none of it was ever bad. Good group of people. Love the berets." Jack chuckled a little and ran a hand through his hair. "I would hit him, but it's honestly not worth it right now." He shot a narrowed gaze over to the Master. "Sometimes I wish you would get torn apart. I'd sell tickets to the event."
Until he was himself? What did that even mean? How could he be anything but what he was now? It was insane to expect the Master to be someone else, someone who didn't exist. With anger curling inside him, it took all his self control to not lash out at the Doctor. Instead, he calmly looked at him, fists clenched together. "The funny thing about the past is that you tend to look at it in rose tinted shades, believing a lie is possible. If you don't believe that this me is the real me then you clearly never paid that much attention. I've always been capable of all of this."
The Master rose to his feet, purposefully knocking the ice-cream of the table to spite the Doctor. Yep, there it went, banana ice cream all over the floor. All because he dared to compliment the man the Master had once been.
"It's funny really but all I needed was you to see all of this. I wanted to do so many brilliant beautiful things and then I met you. And you changed that. Now look at me!" the Master grinned an unhinged grin, turning his head to Jack with a laugh bubbling up inside him. "It's great to be 'his', isn't it? He loves to have friends, doesn't he? Not real friends, imaginary ones. Ones he makes up. Doesn't matter who we are or what we do. We have to fit his standard and do what he wants us to. Even if we aren't that person. Even if we can't be that person."
And the blunt fact of the matter was that the Master was not Koschei. And he wasn't that kind of man. Gritting his teeth, the Master shoved his chair back as far as he could, eyes back on the Doctor with a horrible feeling of bitterness and rejection. Rejection of the Doctor glorifying his youth and refusing to see the man he was.
"I'll glad suffer for all of time as long as you're suffering with me. We both deserve this, Doctor. We're going to rot in this rustbox forever and all because of you. Who knows, maybe the freak will outlive us both because we're not getting out of here any time soon, are we?"
"I know what you're capable of. I know what I'm capable of. But there's still a difference, isn't there?" The Doctor watched the Master, fairly sure that he could see the fear in his eyes. He knew better than to comment on it out loud, the Master had to be aware. "You've been driven to this point."
Not all him. Those drums, that mad delusion inside him. He wished he could believe they came from outside, but they certainly felt off. Changed him from who the Doctor thought he could be and it had only gotten worse over the years. He shook his head and leaned down to pick up the bucket of ice cream, placing it back on the table. His tone and expression changed, softened, he tried to catch his eyes again. "We can try, don't you think? It's better than giving up and dying. I can't let that happen."
He got up and rubbed the back of his head, combing his fingers through his hair in frustration and finally stepping in front of Jack. "This can't be much fun for you. He's right, you know, in some things. Me being a sentimental fool, for example."
The moment that the Master had locked eyes with Jack, he was ready to jump up to punch the Master into silence, but when the Doctor got up to pick up the bucket, Jack decided maybe he had it under control. He certainly seemed calm enough to. Still, he hated the Master talking about the Doctor like that. It wasn't okay with him.
The Doctor had a point. If it weren't for his sentiment toward the Master, they wouldn't be in this position. The Master would be dead, Jack would be back in Cardiff, and all would be right with the world. But that wasn't the decision that the Doctor had made, and now they had to deal with the consequences.
"You are who you are, Doctor. You can't help but want to try and save someone who doesn't want to be saved. That's not like you. You help people. I get it." He turned to face the Master.
"But you. I am so damn sick of you bitching and complaining about your circumstances. No, you're not where you want to be, yes, you were denied the death you chose, but you know what? At least you HAD a choice to begin with. Not like the thousands of people you mercilessly slaughtered. I don't care if you didn't see them as worth having a life, NO ONE gets to make that choice."
He rose from his seat, jaw set tight. "This... What you're complaining about, not being able to die? Welcome to my world. That is the hell that I faced EVERY TIME you killed me. Do you think I liked it? That I had fun?! Who the hell would like waking up after having been pulled apart by dogs to see the man who put it together standing over you with a pair of pliers, wondering what he's going to do with them?!" Jack began to shake and firmly planted his fist onto the table to hide it. "Do you know what it's like to come back to life after immolation before your skin even grows back and get to feel it grow back cell by cell? You of all people should be lucky that this is what you came back to. I would have killed my own mother just to have this even one of the times I woke up from what you did to me."
"I'm a Time Lord, I have that right," the Master responded bluntly to Jack because who cared about those worthless lives, the Master had the most authority therefore he had the choice. And he didn't regret the one he made. No, he felt justified in everything he'd done. Nothing struck him as overtly wrong. But then, it was hard to hear his conscience over the drums, he could never be sure how he truly felt about anything. "Isn't that right, Doctor? We pick who lives and dies, we earned that."
Then, hands in pockets, he slid out from where his seat was to move around the Doctor, eyes on him the whole time even if he was addressing Jack because he knew, he just knew, that the Doctor thought he was right. Somewhere, deep down,that God complex agreed with him.
"I do know, actually. The Doctor set me on fire, remember? Didn't kill me right away, I lay there for days in agony. Only it didn't heal back, I didn't have that luxury, I could feel the pain that soon faded into one horrendous blur of pain. I had to drag myself miles to get help," the Master remarked with an unsettling look in his eyes. Oh yes, the Master had suffered. The Master had died in so many horrible repulsive ways... but honestly, he'd always deserved them. Well, most of the time. Unlike Jack, the Master brought it on himself, he just never saw it. "Then there was that black hole you sent me too, Doctor? Remember that? Tore me to piece again and again and again. All because of what? You. Ruining what I had. And you took her away from me! Cause see, that's the thing, I do get to look at the man who killed me. Constantly. I'm doing it right now."
The Doctor, through accident, circumstance and impulsive thinking, was his executioner and torturer. It was ironic really. "It's not my fault he made you a freak then dangled you in front of me. He should have known better."
"I don't pick who lives and dies. I just sometimes wish I could." The Doctor turned around, his back to Jack so he could keep an eye on the Master. It was clear who he trusted, whatever else he might feel for both of them. Guilt most of all and first Jack's recounting of the things he'd suffered through and then the Master's tale... Yeah, the guilt wasn't going anywhere.
"...let's go to your room, Master." The 'I'm sorry.' almost came out, but he managed to hold it back. Barely. Too many things to apologize for and no ways of making up for any of it. But he couldn't give up. That's why he'd forgiven the Master, that's why he had brought him with him. He couldn't keep losing everything and everyone. "Do you need new books? Furniture to smash?"
Jack couldn't help it; the Master's tale had sent a bit of a chill through him. If he had suffered so, why had he been so eager to make Jack suffer the same? Was it just that he was a psychopath and had no empathy? Probably.
It seemed as though the Doctor had had enough abuse for one day and was dismissing the Master. Jack placed a hand on the Doctor's shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze before circling round to help bully the Master back into his pen.
"Come on, move it. We've had about enough of your mouth for one day, all right? No one cares and no one's listening."
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"Then he must have loved the hell out of you," he said with a grin to the Master. "You're a mess, darling." Okay, so the Doctor may have abandoned him on that satellite, and maybe tried to ditch him by travelling to the end of the universe... but Jack was a mostly agreeable kind of guy, so why hold grudges?
"You're upset. You're also a dick. He's trying to be nice to you and you keep being a prick. And I know you really don't care, but he does. And you've got to deal with him. And fair warning, if the Doctor's upset, so am I."
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With a bitter laugh, the Master smirked at Jack, unable to help himself. Well, he was right on the money. Look at what a life time of the Doctor's love and rejection did to a man. Well, that and the fact that he was just very happy when he hurt people. So many reasons why but why bore everyone with them? The Master had no intention of changing.
"Trying to be nice? What's nice about this? Imprisoned when I should be dead, locked alone all day with the drums tearing my mind apart and all the while he looks at me with such pity," the Master turned to the Doctor, a glare set on his face. "I don't care if I upset either of you. Honestly, it makes things all the more bearable for me. If I have to suffer here, so do you two. And trust me when I say I can do that."
Even psychologically, he knew he could ruin them both with time and the right ammo. "He's upset for a reason, you know? Can't even take the truth."
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The Doctor looked at him for a few moments longer, than he shook his head and turned to Jack. "You have an entirely too high opinion of me. No idea where that comes from." He smiled anyway, because Jack's presence made the Master's words have so much less impact. So much easier to put up a front when someone else was present. "Enough ice cream, I believe. But thank you for not hitting him."
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"We worked with UNIT. They might have had some interesting things to say about you, but none of it was ever bad. Good group of people. Love the berets." Jack chuckled a little and ran a hand through his hair. "I would hit him, but it's honestly not worth it right now." He shot a narrowed gaze over to the Master. "Sometimes I wish you would get torn apart. I'd sell tickets to the event."
I'm gonna ramble so yeah
The Master rose to his feet, purposefully knocking the ice-cream of the table to spite the Doctor. Yep, there it went, banana ice cream all over the floor. All because he dared to compliment the man the Master had once been.
"It's funny really but all I needed was you to see all of this. I wanted to do so many brilliant beautiful things and then I met you. And you changed that. Now look at me!" the Master grinned an unhinged grin, turning his head to Jack with a laugh bubbling up inside him. "It's great to be 'his', isn't it? He loves to have friends, doesn't he? Not real friends, imaginary ones. Ones he makes up. Doesn't matter who we are or what we do. We have to fit his standard and do what he wants us to. Even if we aren't that person. Even if we can't be that person."
And the blunt fact of the matter was that the Master was not Koschei. And he wasn't that kind of man. Gritting his teeth, the Master shoved his chair back as far as he could, eyes back on the Doctor with a horrible feeling of bitterness and rejection. Rejection of the Doctor glorifying his youth and refusing to see the man he was.
"I'll glad suffer for all of time as long as you're suffering with me. We both deserve this, Doctor. We're going to rot in this rustbox forever and all because of you. Who knows, maybe the freak will outlive us both because we're not getting out of here any time soon, are we?"
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Not all him. Those drums, that mad delusion inside him. He wished he could believe they came from outside, but they certainly felt off. Changed him from who the Doctor thought he could be and it had only gotten worse over the years. He shook his head and leaned down to pick up the bucket of ice cream, placing it back on the table. His tone and expression changed, softened, he tried to catch his eyes again. "We can try, don't you think? It's better than giving up and dying. I can't let that happen."
He got up and rubbed the back of his head, combing his fingers through his hair in frustration and finally stepping in front of Jack. "This can't be much fun for you. He's right, you know, in some things. Me being a sentimental fool, for example."
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The Doctor had a point. If it weren't for his sentiment toward the Master, they wouldn't be in this position. The Master would be dead, Jack would be back in Cardiff, and all would be right with the world. But that wasn't the decision that the Doctor had made, and now they had to deal with the consequences.
"You are who you are, Doctor. You can't help but want to try and save someone who doesn't want to be saved. That's not like you. You help people. I get it." He turned to face the Master.
"But you. I am so damn sick of you bitching and complaining about your circumstances. No, you're not where you want to be, yes, you were denied the death you chose, but you know what? At least you HAD a choice to begin with. Not like the thousands of people you mercilessly slaughtered. I don't care if you didn't see them as worth having a life, NO ONE gets to make that choice."
He rose from his seat, jaw set tight. "This... What you're complaining about, not being able to die? Welcome to my world. That is the hell that I faced EVERY TIME you killed me. Do you think I liked it? That I had fun?! Who the hell would like waking up after having been pulled apart by dogs to see the man who put it together standing over you with a pair of pliers, wondering what he's going to do with them?!" Jack began to shake and firmly planted his fist onto the table to hide it. "Do you know what it's like to come back to life after immolation before your skin even grows back and get to feel it grow back cell by cell? You of all people should be lucky that this is what you came back to. I would have killed my own mother just to have this even one of the times I woke up from what you did to me."
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Then, hands in pockets, he slid out from where his seat was to move around the Doctor, eyes on him the whole time even if he was addressing Jack because he knew, he just knew, that the Doctor thought he was right. Somewhere, deep down,that God complex agreed with him.
"I do know, actually. The Doctor set me on fire, remember? Didn't kill me right away, I lay there for days in agony. Only it didn't heal back, I didn't have that luxury, I could feel the pain that soon faded into one horrendous blur of pain. I had to drag myself miles to get help," the Master remarked with an unsettling look in his eyes. Oh yes, the Master had suffered. The Master had died in so many horrible repulsive ways... but honestly, he'd always deserved them. Well, most of the time. Unlike Jack, the Master brought it on himself, he just never saw it. "Then there was that black hole you sent me too, Doctor? Remember that? Tore me to piece again and again and again. All because of what? You. Ruining what I had. And you took her away from me! Cause see, that's the thing, I do get to look at the man who killed me. Constantly. I'm doing it right now."
The Doctor, through accident, circumstance and impulsive thinking, was his executioner and torturer. It was ironic really. "It's not my fault he made you a freak then dangled you in front of me. He should have known better."
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"...let's go to your room, Master." The 'I'm sorry.' almost came out, but he managed to hold it back. Barely. Too many things to apologize for and no ways of making up for any of it. But he couldn't give up. That's why he'd forgiven the Master, that's why he had brought him with him. He couldn't keep losing everything and everyone. "Do you need new books? Furniture to smash?"
no subject
It seemed as though the Doctor had had enough abuse for one day and was dismissing the Master. Jack placed a hand on the Doctor's shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze before circling round to help bully the Master back into his pen.
"Come on, move it. We've had about enough of your mouth for one day, all right? No one cares and no one's listening."