neverwouldiever | Valiantly Living On.

"I believe it was in this very room not that long ago that you told me I'm too manic, wasn't it? In some ways we're not that different, him and I. Never have been. I suppose I was the disruptive influence." The Doctor ran his thumb over the back of Jack's hand, opening his eyes again. "I don't know about happy, Jack, but I told you before: I can look after myself. I'd not have taken him with me if I didn't think I could look after him, too. You don't have to stay to guard me, in any capacity."

He smiled briefly. "Not that I'm not grateful."

"You'll never bee like him," Jack says as though it were fact. "You could never be that cruel. Never." He pulled the Doctor's hand close, kissing the top of it, as if somehow he might absorb the thought via osmosis.

"I know you can, Doctor, but he's clever... I don't want him getting to you." He squeezed the Doctor's hand and looked to him with pleading eyes. "Please don't throw me out. Not yet. You might not need me, exactly, but I don't think I'm done needing you yet, either."

"I'm not throwing you out! I just don't want you staying for the wrong reasons." The Doctor frowned and sat up, rubbing his face in frustration. "Not that I know what a right reason would be these days. Not a lot of adventuring getting done like this, eh?" He shot him a rueful smile and then he just reached out to comb some of Jack's hair away from his face.

"I know his presence is hard on you. If there's anything I can do that's not connected to things I won't do to him... You just have to say." He leaned forward and kissed Jack's cheek. Then he paused and kissed him again, this time a lot closer to his mouth. He had no idea what he was doing. "Alright?"

Well that was certainly a start. The initial kiss had actually quite surprised Jack. He hadn't seen it coming and thought it a little odd of the Doctor. He was only trying to comfort him, he thought, until the second kiss came along. Jack turned in toward the kiss, his gaze flitting between the Doctor's lips and his eyes.

"Would you stay with me tonight?" he asked, his voice soft. He shifted his head, affectionately bumping his nose against the Doctor's. Sure it was forward, but who was Jack if that wasn't part of his character? "You don't have to but... it would be rather nice..."

"Er. Sure, I suppose." The Doctor wrinkled his nose feeling out of his element in ways he definitely didn't like. But on the other hand the way his hearts fluttered... There was something about this all that made him feel... Feel young, really. Not all that unpleasant, all in all. Maybe Jack made him think of Rose or maybe it really was just Jack. Stranger things had happened. Not so strange at all, all things considered.

"We can do a sleepover. Maybe you'll get some actual sleep that way." He wasn't an idiot. He knew what Jack intended with the question. But, well. He really didn't know about that.

If Jack had anything to say about it, there wouldn't be a lot of sleeping for a while. He didn't seem to be shying away like he had earlier with the ice cream.. Was he going to actually let it happen? Jack felt a little nervous at being shot down again, but he had just said that he wasn't about to throw Jack out. At least there was that.

"That would be nice," he said softly, finally leaning in to close the distance between their mouths, though not committing enough to it to trap the Doctor in case he changed his mind.

Without thinking about it at all, the Doctor spontaneously leaned forward and met Jack's lips. Well. He didn't just meet them, he pressed himself against him, he deepened the kiss immediately, he kissed him demanding and needing, a sound to match only half getting drowned out by the kiss. He hadn't known how much he wanted until he'd given in and suddenly it was overwhelming in its intensity.

The Doctor pulled away just as suddenly, quickly jumping to his feet as if he'd burned himself or as if staying in Jack's immediate vicinity might be the very thing burning him. He was rubbing his arms, swallowing thickly. Ice cream and Jack, apparently a dangerous combination. Now he was standing there, having jumped Jack like a hormonal teenager only to move away as if he'd been bitten somehow and he had no idea how to justify any of it. In the end he just let go of a shuddering breath and rubbed his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jack." He chuckled and shook his head. "I just keep apologizing to you, don't I?"

Yes, yes. That had been what Jack was craving. That soft touch of lips, the intensity of another person needing him just as much as he needed to touch and kiss and taste. He'd very nearly sank into the feeling before it was ungracefully ripped out from underneath him. He hadn't expected such a violent reaction, but... maybe that's just how Time Lords would react to him. Still, it didn't help the very obvious frustration practically radiating off of him.

"Yeah. You do." Jack rubbed his eyes, trying to bring his breathing back down to normal. He was about done with all of this and looked up to the Doctor. "Look, just... Maybe you should go. It's not fair of me to push you when you very clearly aren't interested." He knew that the Master had been right about that, but it didn't make it any less insulting.

"Not interested? Gods, Jack, what do people do to you when they are interested?" The Doctor had to chuckle despite the awkward and tense situation. His hearts were beating up to his throat and he had to swallow to at least try and get them to stop... Well, beating up a samba, as someone had described it once. "This isn't about me not being interested, I just don't..." He tugged on his hair as he tried to find the right words. "I'm good at the dramatic rescues and holding hands while running from danger. Or right toward danger. Anything else, I..."

He smiled bitterly. "Somewhere out there Rose Tyler is still waiting for me to say..." He shook his head sadly and then he stepped toward the bed again, one hand on Jack's shoulder as he caught his eyes. "It's what he said, remember? You shouldn't want to be mine." And then he kissed him again, softer this time, but also less on the edge. Less as if he was about to run.

Of course... Of course it came down to Rose. How could he be that stupid? "Since when am I going to start listening to him? I haven't yet, and I certainly don't expect to be starting now."

And then the Doctor was kissing him again. Jack felt a little apprehensive about it, not sure about letting himself get excited again. But it had been the Doctor to initiate it this time. Maybe it would be okay. He finally let his eyes slide closed and he craned his neck to kiss him back, moving slowly, much more so than he would have liked, what with all of the sexual frustration practically boiling over inside him. If he didn't invest much, he couldn't be that disappointed when it didn't work out.

This time there was no sign of the Doctor pulling away. Quite the opposite, he moved forward, hands on Jack's shoulders pushing him down, while moving with him, all set to lay down on top of him, still kissing. This time he only broke away in order to talk, but he stayed just as close, a hand in Jack's hair.

"Sometimes looking at you is like seeing eternity. Overwhelming. But having you want me... That's enough to get drunk on, do you see that? Having you..." The Doctor smiled ruefully, catching Jack's eyes as he tugged on a strand of his hair. "There's that god complex he keeps talking about. To be loved for eternity... I only ever manage fleeting moments I lose forever." Because apparently now was the time for all this musing.

When the Doctor had pushed him, Jack easily followed his guidance, wrapping his arms around him to keep him near and assure that he wouldn't walk off. The fingers in his hair were immensely reassuring, and actually let him relax a little. He enjoyed his hair being played with, and even when he broke off, Jack kept kissing him, his chin and jaw.

He hadn't really thought of it that way before, and he supposed that the Doctor was right. Still, it didn't hurt any less. "Is that why you kept pushing me back?" he asked, gently tugging at his lip with his teeth. "I know I can't be with you forever, but... At the very least, let me have even a moment, won't you?"

"Uh-huh." That was really all the Doctor managed at first, because Jack's teeth were doing something to his lip and he wasn't sure if he liked it or not but he very possibly did, quite a lot, and either way it was very distracting and he didn't want to pull away. Once he felt he could talk again he did, because he was the Doctor. "Well, no. There's a whole plethora of other reasons for that. Plethora, I like that word, don't you? I should say it more. Anyway. I mean, for one thing you flirt in the most inopportune moments. Also when we met I was..." He quickly shook his head. No need to delve into that topic again.

"Forever... Would be tempting. But he's not so wrong, you know. About me and..." Love, but some words he avoided using. "...being mine." He looked at Jack, not sure what to feel. He had already changed so much since he'd first met him. How much more would he change him? How much longer before Jack couldn't stand it anymore, unless the Doctor left him first?

On and on with the rambling. He continued kissing down to his neck with a roll of his eyes before the Doctor's gaze had forced him to stop. He lay back heavy on the bed and looked up to him, frankly getting a little annoyed.

"Doctor, I think you misunderstand me," he said, voice a little terse, "Yes. I think it's obvious how I feel about you. But I'm not really a... relationship kind of guy. You have to know that by now." Jack let his hands move, one winding through the Doctor's hair and the other rubbing his arm affectionately. "That's just not who I am. I might be around forever, but I've got no intentions about being stuck to one person that whole time."

"Well, I know that. I just meant in a general non-relationshippy kind of way." But, yes, even he could tell that he was rambling too much. Nerves, obviously, but he didn't actually want to annoy Jack right now. His mind was just spinning and his mouth ran with it and there he was, ruining some perfectly good snogging.

"But the kissing was good, yes?" See, he could focus on the important things.

"Then what's the problem?" Jack was confused. If the Doctor wasn't getting cold feet, then what was the deal? But still, he gave the Doctor a tiny little smile. "Yeah... it was good. Are you saying you're done? I can let it keep being good if you want. I can even make it better." His smile grew, and his fingers began playing with the Doctor's hair, admiring its length and its softness.

"Yeah, I'll just bet you can." The Doctor's tone came out a bit too mocking, so he decided to make up for it with another kiss and somehow it ended up a lot longer and sweeter than he expected. He smiled, even through all the insecurity he felt, shrugging. "I don't really... Don't really do this kind of thing too often. Kissing and stuff." Sometimes he also happened to talk as if he didn't even know what 'and stuff' entailed, but at least this regeneration could deal with it in a somewhat mature fashion. Well. Could deal with it, anyway.

"It's been a while."

It wasn't hard for Jack to decide that he liked how the Doctor kissed. It was actually fairly innocent from what he could tell, and there was something awfully sweet about it that he couldn't deny. He let his hand run down the Doctor's face, cupping his cheek as he pulled back to speak.

"I understand," he said, looking a little sad about it. "As much as I would like to, and believe me, I really, really would, we don't have to do much more than this if you don't want." He smiled at him. "I just want to be with you. Is it that scary?"

"Don't know about scary. Baffling, mostly." The Doctor smiled anyway, a touch of sadness to it as well. "You were right, you know..." He kissed the corner of Jack's mouth, because while he was rambling again, he didn't want to seem as if he was rejecting him. Not that he had quite decided just how far he was going here. "About the Master. When we were young..."

He trailed off, frowning. "He's the first one I kiss. It wasn't considered very proper, kissing. Kind of primitive, really." In conclusion to that he kissed Jack, this time deep and lingering. "I kind of liked it right away."

Not all that sexy, talking about a former lover in a moment like this. Still, it wasn't as though they were anything serious, of course, but given who the Doctor was talking about, he couldn't help but be a little annoyed at least. Jack met each of the Doctor's kisses evenly and paused to suck on his bottom lip for a moment.

"Are you trying to make me jealous?" He asked with a playful tone. "Because it's working." Jack's lips carried themselves once more down to his neck, eager to keep his mouth busy. "It's not very nice."

"What? Nah! What's to be jealous about?" Given all of this was pretty much literally ancient history and the Master would sooner see him dead than anything, he didn't really see how jealousy featured in. "I just reckoned since you asked you ought to know. In case it changes..." He trailed off there, because whatever Jack was doing to him, it was definitely distracting. Something about his neck...

Yeah, that'd be it. He really hadn't meant for a sound like that to come out, in fact he could scarcely believe it had been him, but here he was, just about whimpering. "Er. Changes anything. For you."

The sound that came from the Doctor actually somewhat startled Jack, though not necessarily in a bad way, as the smile that came to his lips would suggest. "Well. Doctor, I had no idea." He chuckled, happy to find something he can do to get the Doctor to stop talking. Not that he disliked it when he spoke, but it was nice to at least be able to grab a little bit of his focus.

Jack closed his eyes, continuing his slow onslaught of his neck, kissing and sucking at his skin. "Not really... It was a long time ago... I'm not that kind of man."

The Doctor had long since learned that some regenerations were more sensitive than others. Also that almost all of them seemed to have especially weak spots and given that he felt somewhere between just melting and wanton moaning at Jack's treatment of his neck, he was fairly sure he had an inkling what spot it might be for this one.

There was something close enough to a moan before he managed to bite down on his lip. He rolled to the side, away from the vicinity of Jack's all too talented mouth, but keeping his arms around him to not make him feel rejected. He just wanted to be able to think. "Gods..." Yeah, his focus was shot. "Starting to see your point about it being hot here. Now I could use more ice cream." But he was actively teasing here, as his grin and the way his tongue flicked out to wet his lips indicated.

God, if he could get just a recording of the Doctor making those sounds, he'd be set for the rest of his lonely nights. When the Doctor rolled off of him, Jack quickly followed, planting his arms on either side of his head. "You think so? I was just thinking that it wasn't hot enough." He dipped down to kiss him again, deep and slow, with his tongue slipping past the Doctor's lips to taste him. It seemed as though he was having trouble with overstimulation, and Jack certainly didn't want to make him lose his mind just yet, though he did gently begin rocking his hips against the Doctor's.

Kissing he could do. A lot of his kisses might have happened under life-threatening circumstances recently, but he was nonetheless good at it. There might be a certain innocence to his eagerness, kissing more like it was all still new and exciting, even leaning up on his elbows a little to deepen the kiss.

Now, the way Jack moved against him was another thing altogether, one he wasn't sure how he wanted to respond to. In the end he moved his legs apart, just enough, wondering how fast he'd regret that.

Out of his element. Definitely out of his element, enough for his voice to be out of breath when he broke away. "Tell me what's on your mind."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject