neverwouldiever | Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and other Sounds

"No, John. No one has to do those things. Certainly not you." Jack folded his arms, as if that could offer any kind of defence against the truth of John's words. So he was a hypocrite, but John had hurt a lot of people... Always conflicted. He had liked John once, and the more time Jack spent away from him, the more he wondered why.

"The jury's still out on whether or not I'll actually turn you over. I'm thinking about it. I should, but I know what the dangers are. To both alternatives. Maybe I'm just waiting until you get better... won't do you much good to be out there without healing up first, will it? I mean, you could tear something, get it infected, and then where would you be?"

"Suffering? Like you want but you don't want because you're horrible inconsistent," John pointed out as he shook his head, leaning his arms on the glass and resting his head against them. "Look, lock me up if you want to. But it's really a waste of both our times cause I'll get out. I always get out. Even the best men I've ever met have tried and it's never stuck. The longest I was ever in for was about six months and that's just because I was on a job to kill one of the more prolific prisoners."

Which he did. After he was violently fucked by him. Several times. In a few different positions. Oh what a sentence that had been. Shame he had to die too, it was a waste of great talent. "Why don't just let me out? I can't run off, we've got handcuffs and plenty of time before your gang turns up. Let's get creative instead."

Jack took a moment to check the time on his vortex manipulator.. It was still very late, and he knew he could call everyone in at a moment's notice if he really needed to, but John was just one injured man. Jack could handle him. "Handcuffs... like those ones you just broke out of?" He did have a set of magnetic manacles upstairs but he really didn't feel like breaking his rule about tech just for a bit of fun. "See, if I let you out, then you'll take my gun, shoot me, and run off before I can wake up. What in the world makes you think that I'm going to trust you? And especially after all of the nasty things you said tonight." He shook his head and tutted John. "Shame you couldn't be nicer."

"You're a real ball breaker tonight, aren't you?"

With a bored look plain and clear on his face, John heaved a sigh and moved away from the glass. Because hell, Jack was right. He'd do that in a heartbeat. Sliding back down the wall, John returned to fiddling with his screwdriver, looking on the verge of pouting because he really didn't like being grounded against his will. It was boring and he had a long night of nothingness. "Piss off then. If I'm here all night, I'm not playing cat and mouse with you."

And, with that, he turned Katy Perry on once more, loud enough that hopefully he'd drown the sound of Jack out.

Jack rolled his eyes as John sat back down and started petulantly playing that music. This was about as 'pouty teenager' as John could get before people started getting hurt. And God that music was loud. The acoustics off the cement really weren't helping it not bore into his brain. Finally, Jack rolled his eyes and against his better judgement, grabbed his coat and circled round to the door of the cell, standing back against the wall and unlocking it with his vortex manipulator. Mostly, he just wanted to see what he'd do if given the chance.

Jack didn't expect miracles, but at least this way it would be more interesting than listening to him pout all night. "Well? You coming out or not?" He asked, already growing impatient.

The music turned off and John looked up, unsure if he was being tested or not. It was completely confusing. One moment there was no leaving, now there was. John didn't hurry to stand up, mostly because he couldn't. He sort of shoved himself up, gripping onto the wall and he tried to walk without his foot touching the ground. Very complicated, not quite as classy as he'd liked but boy was he hobbling to that door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Don't bully the cripple," John complained as he finally slipped out of the cell, eyes immediately on where Jack's guns should be. Yet funnily enough, he didn't go for them. Instead, he just waited to see what Jack had planned. "Go on then, tell me. What's the catch?"

Jack had seen where John's gaze moved to immediately, and Jack moved his hand to place it on his gun. No, John, you weren't getting it that easily. "I know I can't trust you. You're the least trustworthy guy in the universe and I know this is probably the worst idea I've had in a long, long time. But you were right. I don't want you to suffer. I'm not letting you out for good... But it'll be harder to heal if you can't walk around, too. Besides, I did promise you something for that, didn't I? I'm not much of a liar anymore."

Jack seemed a little more on edge when he pushed from the wall. "Just... know that if you fuck up... if you really mess this up, that I will have no qualms against calling the authorities and having your arse carted off and I won't give it a second thought. Do you understand? Against my better judgement, I am trusting you. Don't let me down."

"You're trusting me? That's pretty stupid," John just felt like pointing out because it was. It seriously was. And even John had a feeling he was going to mess it up and he really didn't have the energy to get into a fight right now. For all his cockiness, his leg did seriously hurt like hell and he kind of wanted to get very drunk and pass out somewhere. Yes, that sounded lovely.

"I'm probably going to let you down. But on the rare chance I don't, I think you owe me something. It's very hard to be responsible like that, you know? All my effort. I better get some strong drugs. And maybe a bottle of whiskey," What, he was bargaining. Took a lot for Captain John Hart to behave himself, he needed better motivation than a potential arrest.

"Yeah. I know the risk I'm taking in letting you out. It's stupid, but I'm bored and a bit lonely." He started toward the stairs, making sure to move slowly enough so that John could keep up. Jack was still uncertain what exactly he was going to do with John, but if he could get him drunk enough to pass out, maybe he'd be mostly harmless. Just so long as he kept any weapons away from him during that time, anyway.

"Your 'effort' is most peoples' baseline for acting civilised." Jack tried to come off as though he had no pity for him, but he was walking so pathetically that it was hard not to feel for him. "I'll settle for whisky and a blowjob. I told you already: no drugs here." Unless you counted what Owen had in the med bay. "Now let's see if you live up to it."

"Lonely? Is there no one you can call? One of your welsh babes or perhaps that angry looking doctor? I liked him, he was very no-nonsense," John mused just because it was funny to talk about those strange people Jack had collected for whatever purpose. He supposed everyone got lonely, even immortals who had to watch everyone they loved slowly die around them.

"I'm civilised, I just have an alternative take on life," John insisted as he limped after Jack, a little annoyed that he couldn't just push passed the pain. Who the fuck shot someone that low down on the leg anyway? Must of hit the bone, surely. With an annoyed huff, he pushed himself to catch up with Jack, not wanting to be left behind in his dust. "A blowjob? Nicely worked in there. I can live with that. Like you said, I have a brilliant mouth. Shame not to use it."

"Not that it's any of your business, but Ianto's been having a bit of cold feet lately. It's been hard, but I think he's... having trouble with the concept of him and me. I mean, I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship with him, exactly, but... I'm the first man he's been with. It's scaring him a little." He looked a little sad, shoulders slumped, hands in his pockets. It wasn't fair. 21st century people needed to wake up a little. At least John wasn't complicated like that. That's one of the things he liked about him, he supposed.

"You do have a brilliant mouth. Sometimes it does more harm than good, but I'll be the first in line to admit that you use your tongue better than almost anyone I've ever met." He was back to smiling a little. Now really wasn't the time to talk about relationship issues. "Enthusiasm is really one of your strongest features about it."

"Eyecandy isn't that into the relationship. That's gotta hurt," John teased because hell, if Ianto got Jack then John was allowed to mock. And feel hurt. Because it did sting quite a bit. Sure, he'd moved on and he knew that he was very much never getting so much as near dating Jack but that didn't mean he couldn't feel bitter over losing him properly. "I don't even get how liking a bloke would scare someone? Perfectly normal."

He'd always liked guys. And girls. And things with undetermined sexes.

"I've had a lot of practise, gets me out of trouble. That's why I'm so successful in prison," He was very good at using what he had to make his life better, even if it meant giving head to strange threatening people. Not like he gave a damn. "Not a thing I won't do but commit. And stay longer than I have to."

Jack shot John a Look at his mockery. Yeah, he'd already thought about all of this, thank you very much. Once John had caught up to him, Jack started up the stairs, keeping a close eye on him in case he had trouble. "You do a lot of things remarkably well in the bedroom. You know it, I know it. Everyone knows it. That's why they call you. King Honeypot." Jack laughed a little.

"Even when we were trapped in that time loop you didn't want to commit. Though I think you would have broken before I did." He stopped at the top of the stairs to wait for him. "You were such a brat. Good to see you strive for consistency."

"What a flattering nickname. Couldn't think of anything better? I'll take, I mean, it's fitting. Just saying. Though I like the king part," John insisted with a measure of pride. There was a lot of truth to it really, he did have quite the reputation and yet no matter what he did or who he fucked, it was never fun. Well, not as fun as it had been with Jack. He enjoyed himself, he just missed having someone there to laugh with him.

"You didn't want to commit either," John insisted because he wasn't being blamed for this one. They were both horrified at the idea. It took a long time to get up those stairs, a step at a time, but he was quicker than most people would have been after being shot in the leg. "I was not a brat! And I wouldn't have broken. Unbreakable, I am. Very unbreakable. Name one other agent who took as many beatings as I do? And you don't count, you're bloody immortal now."

"Well, I was going to say 'queen', but I'm not sure the stockings fit anymore." Jack couldn't help himself but to laugh, even just a little. "Though I bet you still look stunning in a skirt. Might have to give that a try sometime."

He rolled his eyes as John proclaimed his unbreakable nature. "Please. You're about as unbreakable as dry noodles. You pretend you don't want someone, but look at what it took to finally get rid of you. You're a mess without someone to cling onto. Going off, getting shot and abducted by strange men in time machines. Just because you get your arse kicked a lot, doesn't make you tough. It just means you get your arse kicked a lot, and that it's easy to do." He tutted again and shook his head. "You're a disgrace to us all, you know."

He had to admit that he was pretty impressed with how quickly John was moving. It told Jack that this wasn't the first time he'd had to deal with such an injury. Maybe he'd have Owen look at it in the morning, or at least give him an x-ray to see if anything was cracked. When he was satisfied with John's performance, he led him over to the sofa and hurried upstairs for the bottle of whisky he kept in his desk; Not to get drunk, but just to enjoy. John needed it more than he did tonight, so he left it with a shot glass on the table for him

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