IC Inbox

[neverwouldiever]

For any and all texting and other nonsense.

Comments

[chronosexual]

Only because you know I'm already seduced. You're so mean to me.

I want another photo to make up for that.

[neverwouldiever]

[He just sends a picture of his face, but at least it's a very clear picture. And, yes, he's sticking his tongue out.]

If I knew where the TARDIS was right now I'd so be over there. Give you a spanking.

[chronosexual]

Don't make promises you can't keep, Doctor.

[neverwouldiever]

Have you met me? I do that all the time.

If I can promise people they'll survive, I can promise you an orgasm.

Ohh, drinking makes me bitter.

[chronosexual]

Clearly. Let's work on getting you happy again. If you could pick any place in the universe to have sex at, where would it be?

[neverwouldiever]

The TARDIS.

Haven't done that in a while.

[chronosexual]

Really? That's all? Seems kind of... vanilla, don't you think?

[neverwouldiever]

I don't even do it in the first place, so why would I be thinking about doing it on the back of a dinosaur?

...for instant.

[chronosexual]

That would be kind of bumpy, wouldn't it? What about on a comet?

[neverwouldiever]

Highly impractical for those of us that can't survive not breathing in space.

[chronosexual]

Knowing you? I'm sure you could find a way. Okay, then what's your favourite position?

[neverwouldiever]

Jack. Honestly. How often do you think I have sex?

Outside of your dreams.

[chronosexual]

The answer is "not often enough". I can fix that if you let me.

[ He sends another photo, this time of just his erect cock in his hand. ]

Ready when you are.

[neverwouldiever]

Oh, nice. How long does it stay that way? ;)

How often have you had sex? Like. Last week?

[chronosexual]

As long as it needs to. It's tough to really satisfy me.

I had sex a few days ago. Is that a problem? Means I'm well-practised.

[neverwouldiever]

I was just wondering. Who did you have sex with then?

Ever had sex with a telepathic species?

[chronosexual]

Ianto. It was in my office. He *really* likes getting mileage out of his stopwatch.

A few times, actually. It was mind-blowing.

[neverwouldiever]

And what would Ianto think of, you know. Doing it on an asteroid with me? ...also how did the stopwatch feature into it?

Yeah? I'd reckon so. It's something else, alright.

[chronosexual]

He and I aren't serious. We're just coincidental. Besides, that's quite the view up there on your high horse. Must be hard to see with the queen in your lap and everything.

There are many things you can time with a stopwatch.

[neverwouldiever]

Look, I did nothing with the queen. She started kissing me, out of nowhere. I had no idea she wanted to! Also I'm not judging, I'm finding out. See, me, I couldn't have coincidental sex. It's too intimate! Can't keep my mind closed off, never sure on the hearts.

Interesting hobby. How are your stats?

[chronosexual]

Right. Kissing. And that's why you haven't got clothes on. Makes perfect sense.

It's just sex. It's physical and emotional, but once it's over, there's no reason to be attached any longer. What's wrong about that?

My stats? Could be better, but I have it on good authority that they are quite satisfactory.

[neverwouldiever]

No!!! I don't have clothes on because of the moat! They were wet!

There's nothing wrong with that. It's just not for me! I always get attached. Then I mess up. Now imagine if I added sex to that.

I'm sure they are. You're probably very satisfactory on the whole.

[chronosexual]

Shouldn't need to go through a moat to get to a party thrown for you. Sounds like a very private party.

You should have more wine, Doctor. You're getting less fun.

[neverwouldiever]

I had to go through a moat because I had to go out the window when the king came in. Will you keep up?

Cheers! To screwing, one way or the other.

[chronosexual]

So how'd you get from the moat to the closet?

Cheers, Doctor. May our opportunity someday arise.