IC Inbox

[neverwouldiever]

For any and all texting and other nonsense.

Comments

[neverwouldiever]

I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D REPLY!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

[bornofdeath]

I don't know. I forgot I had a phone till it buzzed while back. Can't give specific dates obviously.

Your granddad has the most out-dated phone I've ever seen. Even for twentieth century Earth. The games are rubbish and I've beaten Angry Birds more times that I can count.

[neverwouldiever]

Aren't you running out of battery? None of this makes any sense.

Am I talking to a hallucination?

[bornofdeath]

Do you know anything about basic science? Think about it. Time locks are akin to blackholes only more electrically charged. I'm sitting inside a giant phone charger, I have 100% permanently.

If you were hallucinating, I'd be there in person. Why would you hallucinate me texting you? Wouldn't you rather see my pretty face?

[neverwouldiever]

They are also TIME LOCKS. Why are you even doing anything aside from being locked.

I think the world might have seen enough of your face.

[bornofdeath]

It's just time frozen. The electrical charge is keeping the phone going but amusingly the time is stuck.

What amuses me is that you are determined to poke holes in the idea of me being able to text and have a fully charged phone but you're not curious how I'm getting a signal.

And you can never see enough of my face. If anything, you don't see it enough.

[neverwouldiever]

You made everyone on Earth you, how much more of your face am I supposed to see?

So it's really you.

I can't believe it.

[bornofdeath]

You can always see more. Trust me.

Now, get over it, believe it and come play hero, would you? I'm bored witless here. It's just blank.

[He sends about three picture texts after, all of which are stark white. Except one that has a bit of his finger showing.]

[neverwouldiever]

...are you giving me the finger or just really bad at taking a picture?

Say I believe you. You're asking me to help? Doesn't sound like you.

[bornofdeath]

I have to hold it at an awkward angle. If I drop it, I may never see it again.

I'm not asking for help, I'm calling in a favour. I saved your life already, now it's your turn. You're obligated to help me, this isn't optional.

Also could you PLEASE tell this Donna moron to stop texting me? I said it was the wrong number, I'm still getting badly written responses calling me 'gramps'.

[neverwouldiever]

Sorry, nothing I can do about Donna. And they are not badly written, she just shortens things. She's damn fast at texting.

And I'm sorry, Master. I'm out of time. Next face.

[bornofdeath]

txing lke ths isnt well wrttn lol

What? You're regenerating? I saved your life, you're not allowed to do that.

[neverwouldiever]

Leave her alone.

I'm not doing it on purpose, am I? Well. Not really.

[bornofdeath]

I AM GENIUS. I'm trapped in a time lock. All I can do is correct her grammar from afar.

Oh please, this is so you. No, no, no, no, you can't let me do something nice. You have to go and ruin it by dying?! I'm here because I saved your life. If you die, I'm basically an idiot stuck in a time lock for no reason.

Stop dying and come break me out.

[neverwouldiever]

...tell me what's happening. I'll try to come up with something. I have a few minutes.

[bornofdeath]

You know what's happening.

I'm in a time-lock between Earth and Gallifrey, unable to get to either for whatever reason and you're being a selfish bastard, dying on me like this.

[neverwouldiever]

Do you feel anything? I'm trying to hone the TARDIS in on the signal.

Sorry. Didn't mean to be dying.

[bornofdeath]

Yes, Rassilon trying to kill me. I felt that. And now I'm here, feeling nothing. So no, actually. And no drums, just fyi.

Well, it was very inconsiderate.

[neverwouldiever]

You shouldn't have pushed me aside.

Quite selfless of you.

[bornofdeath]

Nope, that was stupid. But then I'm rotting inside out and have been tormented into madness so I'm pleading insanity on that one.

I don't do selfless.

[neverwouldiever]

Sweet. Kind. Loving.

[bornofdeath]

In your sad little wet dreams maybe.

Are you trying to help me or just rubbing in my good deed?

[neverwouldiever]

I'm getting there. I'm not sure if I can do it in time before...

You did save me. I'm sorry.

[bornofdeath]

You have time, get over yourself.

And don't say that. I don't want an apology, I want to be out of this time lock.

[neverwouldiever]

Thank you.

I didn't think I'd ever have reason to say that to you again.