IC Inbox

[neverwouldiever]

For any and all texting and other nonsense.

Comments

[standsonhigh]

Aww, you think I'm brilliant? You flatterer! It only took you a thousand years to proclaim your affections.

Talk about a slow burn.

They're not going to stop me. And neither are you. So do the sensible thing, Doctor. Submit to me, cut your losses and buy me a drink. You never know, I might put out if you keep up this sweet talk.

[neverwouldiever]

Submit? Sorry, Master, I'm not into that.

[standsonhigh]

Well, there's no chance you'll get out of this on top.

Time to explore new options and ideas.

[neverwouldiever]

I have higher standards. Also, you have a wife.

Couldn't grow a beard?

[standsonhigh]

I can, it just doesn't look that good.

You haven't met Lucy properly, have you? Oh, she's a sweetheart.

[neverwouldiever]

Tell you what: It really never did.

Oh, I'm sure. What did you do to her?

[standsonhigh]

Jealous you could never grow one?

Charmed her pants off. Literally.

[neverwouldiever]

I could. I just have taste.

Yeah. What did you do to her mind?

[standsonhigh]

Really? Can I walk you through your various fashion mistakes or can you remember them all? The celery, the technicoloured dream coat, the question marks.

Nothing. She liked me. And no, I don't mean she liked Harry Saxon, she actually like me in all my glory.

[neverwouldiever]

You know how many useful functions celery has! And at least my hair was always great. Well. In the ones you saw.

She must not know you very well then.

[standsonhigh]

... You don't believe that? You had the worst hair. Well, okay, the blonde one didn't.

She's seen me in the slaughter, she's seen me lost in the drums and she's seen me in bed. She knows me just fine.

[neverwouldiever]

Well. What about this one's hair? And I don't even have to ask which blond.

Has she seen how little she means to you? You need to be loyal to inspire loyalty. Friendship.

[standsonhigh]

Ah, the cockatoo look. It's ... unique.

She means a lot to me, you know. I don't love her but I like her, she's so ugly on the inside. It's beautiful.

[neverwouldiever]

A lot of people like it!

Be careful that you don't misjudge her. Or mistreat her, for that matter.

But look at you, liking a human.

[standsonhigh]

Really? Blind people? Dumb people? That reflection in the mirror?

Don't get carried away, I just like having a new toy to play with.

[neverwouldiever]

No. People with excellent taste, thank you very much. Martha likes it!

Does she know you think that of her?

[standsonhigh]

One person likes it! Well done, how accomplished.

Yes. I think the idea turns her on.

[neverwouldiever]

A lot of people do! This one gets a lot of the looks and touches and asking.

Why would it?

[standsonhigh]

So you get petted like a dog because of your hair? Is the asking mostly 'who's a good boy?'

Being used and abused. Big human kink, you know. Google it.

[neverwouldiever]

No! They flirt and want to kiss and stuff.

Being defeated is yours?

[standsonhigh]

Cause you're such a cute wittle doggie-woggie?

If you think that's a desire of mine, you're not paying attention. No shock there.

[neverwouldiever]

Oh, shut up.

It must be, because you know it will happen. You know I will end this.

[standsonhigh]

Prove it.

No, really, prove it. Come and beat me. I'd love to see you try.

[neverwouldiever]

I will. It's inevitable.

We both know it. It doesn't matter for how long you'll think yourself the winner. You'll always have that inkling at the back of your mind. That fear. You'll always wonder if I have a plan. You'll always wonder just how much longer before it's all over.

[standsonhigh]

I don't. I did once, I don't know.

I've won already, you just can't see it. Give it time, you'll see. I'm definitely going to crush you and it's going to be a delight.