Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and other Sounds

[neverwouldiever]

The adventures of John Hart and Jack Harkness, sometimes guest-starring the Doctor.





Sexting Meme threads:

Doctor and John
Jack and John
Doctor and Jack

Comments

[recidivates]

You stole her! Don't try to hide it. Look at you, stealing your ship. There's potential in you yet.

[neverwouldiever]

I reckon that if you asked her, she'd say that she stole me.

[recidivates]

Then you're both as bad as each other.

She's sexy, that ship of yours. Fucktastic, as they say in my time.

[neverwouldiever]

Oh, she is. Now there's a reason to invent a word like that. You've not even seen the half of her. Well. You haven't even seen a hundredth, really.

[recidivates]

Don't care how big she is, I'd do her.

But I won't, don't worry. I'm a gentleman when it comes to women like that

[neverwouldiever]

Well. She's a ship, for starters, so how would you even...

You know, I'm not sure I want to know.

[recidivates]

She's sentient. If she consents, I can find a way. Trust me, done it before.

[neverwouldiever]

How...

Gods. I always did hear that being curious was my biggest flaw.

[recidivates]

I can't say until I look but a lot of the time, the ships have their own ideas how it's done.

This one ship had some very naughty cables that went some interesting places. If you follow my drift.

[neverwouldiever]

Alright, alright, you can back off right there. The only one working on the TARDIS cables and everything else is me.

[recidivates]

Cool your jets, I said I wouldn't. Unless she wants it. Then you're not her dad, she can fuck whoever she wants.

[neverwouldiever]

Blah blah blah.

Just stay out of the Time Vortex.

[recidivates]

Time vortex?

Is that a euphemism or what?

[neverwouldiever]

...John.

What do you think the 'vortex' part of vortex manipulator meant?

[recidivates]

I know what a time vortex is, genius. I just thought you were being creative. You know, vortexes. They're kind of sexy.

[neverwouldiever]

You know what happened to Jack then?

I don't know about sexy.

[recidivates]

What? You mean the immortal thing?

Nah, he never said. Doesn't tell me anything any more. I only know he's immortal cause I killed him.

[neverwouldiever]

So he told me.

He was brought back to life using the time vortex, more or less. Only accidentally it sort of made him a fixed point.

Gives me the creeps a bit.

[recidivates]

Fixed point? Like forever? Well.

I find it a little weird too, personally. Immortality, it's one of those 'careful what you wish for' deals.

[neverwouldiever]

It's Rose's fault. Well. Mine, ultimately.

Or the Daleks'. Let's go with that.

[recidivates]

If there's a problem, you can usually blame the Daleks.

Annoying wheelie bin bastards.

[neverwouldiever]

Yeah. They keep surviving somehow.

Wait. Daleks you know, but not Time Lords?

What is this universe coming to?

[recidivates]

There's clearly more Daleks than Time Lords.

They caused like half the wars in the universe, you'd have to be dumb to miss them.

[neverwouldiever]

Given I'm the last of the Time Lords, unfortunately that's probably true.

They're afraid of me, you know? Tip for you in case you ever face one.

[recidivates]

You expect me to know about your race when you're the last one? Yeah, right, not egotistical at all. Hmm, last of your kind.

I bet you're worth a lot then, aren't you?