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[neverwouldiever]

For any and all texting and other nonsense.

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random stupid text

[standsonhigh]

So

How's putting a stop to all my evil deeds going?

[neverwouldiever]

...wait and see.

[standsonhigh]

So it's not going well, hmm? Awww, what a shame.

Want to quit now, call it a day and swear allegiance to me?

[neverwouldiever]

It's not too late, Master.

Stop this now. You've gone too far.

1/2

[standsonhigh]

Okay. You're right, I completely surrender. I'm sorry, I was very bad.

2/2

[standsonhigh]

Sorry, that was autocorrect!

I meant to say naaaaaaaaaaaah!

[neverwouldiever]

Damn that autocorrect.

Your issue is with me. Leave Earth out of it.

[standsonhigh]

Oh look at you, it's all me, me, me. I have a life outside of you. I happen to hate a lot of things, you know? Like Earth. Don't like anyone on this planet, bunch of a dumb apes.

Perfect place to start a war, great for collateral damage and if it gets ruined, no big loss.

[neverwouldiever]

I've never understood how someone so brilliant could be so ignorant.

If you think they are so far beneath you then just leave them alone.

You know humanity. How resilient. Do you know how vindictive they are?

Better hope I stop you before they do.

[standsonhigh]

Aww, you think I'm brilliant? You flatterer! It only took you a thousand years to proclaim your affections.

Talk about a slow burn.

They're not going to stop me. And neither are you. So do the sensible thing, Doctor. Submit to me, cut your losses and buy me a drink. You never know, I might put out if you keep up this sweet talk.

[neverwouldiever]

Submit? Sorry, Master, I'm not into that.

[standsonhigh]

Well, there's no chance you'll get out of this on top.

Time to explore new options and ideas.

[neverwouldiever]

I have higher standards. Also, you have a wife.

Couldn't grow a beard?

[standsonhigh]

I can, it just doesn't look that good.

You haven't met Lucy properly, have you? Oh, she's a sweetheart.

[neverwouldiever]

Tell you what: It really never did.

Oh, I'm sure. What did you do to her?

[standsonhigh]

Jealous you could never grow one?

Charmed her pants off. Literally.

[neverwouldiever]

I could. I just have taste.

Yeah. What did you do to her mind?

[standsonhigh]

Really? Can I walk you through your various fashion mistakes or can you remember them all? The celery, the technicoloured dream coat, the question marks.

Nothing. She liked me. And no, I don't mean she liked Harry Saxon, she actually like me in all my glory.

[neverwouldiever]

You know how many useful functions celery has! And at least my hair was always great. Well. In the ones you saw.

She must not know you very well then.

[standsonhigh]

... You don't believe that? You had the worst hair. Well, okay, the blonde one didn't.

She's seen me in the slaughter, she's seen me lost in the drums and she's seen me in bed. She knows me just fine.

[neverwouldiever]

Well. What about this one's hair? And I don't even have to ask which blond.

Has she seen how little she means to you? You need to be loyal to inspire loyalty. Friendship.

[standsonhigh]

Ah, the cockatoo look. It's ... unique.

She means a lot to me, you know. I don't love her but I like her, she's so ugly on the inside. It's beautiful.

[neverwouldiever]

A lot of people like it!

Be careful that you don't misjudge her. Or mistreat her, for that matter.

But look at you, liking a human.

[standsonhigh]

Really? Blind people? Dumb people? That reflection in the mirror?

Don't get carried away, I just like having a new toy to play with.

[neverwouldiever]

No. People with excellent taste, thank you very much. Martha likes it!

Does she know you think that of her?