Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and other Sounds

[neverwouldiever]

The adventures of John Hart and Jack Harkness, sometimes guest-starring the Doctor.





Sexting Meme threads:

Doctor and John
Jack and John
Doctor and Jack

Comments

[neverwouldiever]

Are you any good at arts and crafts? Because otherwise I could see that backfire.

[recidivates]

I made a really lovely popsicle stick windmill.

Then proceeded to ram it down the instructors throat.

But before that he said it was a masterpiece so there's that.

[neverwouldiever]

Congratulations, I suppose. On the masterpiece.

I was pretty good, but my teachers always criticized me anyway. 'Don't draw lightning bolts on your space craft.' I swear it makes it go faster.

[recidivates]

Thanks, I wanted to keep it but they couldn't remove some of it from the blokes throat in time.

Oh I know, teachers are the worst. I spent half my school time in detention. I once got detention for setting fire to a kid AFTER school. Surely that's not fair!

[neverwouldiever]

Oh yeah, mine weren't very fair either. I skipped quite a lot.

Once trapped a teacher in a time loop for a day.

[recidivates]

I got kicked out of school when attacked my maths teacher with a chair.

But time loop? Gotta give you props, that clever.

[neverwouldiever]

Well, I was mucking about with space-time portals at the time. Not that difficult, really.

That must have been about equivalent to your primary school, I reckon.

[recidivates]

Probably. We had a shit education system but we were still rebuilding after the war so hardly a shocker.

To be honest, we could have had the best and I wouldn't of attended.

[neverwouldiever]

I had more fun not attending than I ever had attending. Never did pass the test to actually qualify for piloting a TARDIS.

[recidivates]

I never passed my driving test. I stole my first ship. Actually I stole every ship. I've never not stolen a ship I've owned. Never needed to pay.

[neverwouldiever]

...I borrowed her.

[recidivates]

Liar. You don't want to part with her, you're keeping her. You stole it.

[neverwouldiever]

Oi!

She doesn't want to part with me either!

[recidivates]

You stole her! Don't try to hide it. Look at you, stealing your ship. There's potential in you yet.

[neverwouldiever]

I reckon that if you asked her, she'd say that she stole me.

[recidivates]

Then you're both as bad as each other.

She's sexy, that ship of yours. Fucktastic, as they say in my time.

[neverwouldiever]

Oh, she is. Now there's a reason to invent a word like that. You've not even seen the half of her. Well. You haven't even seen a hundredth, really.

[recidivates]

Don't care how big she is, I'd do her.

But I won't, don't worry. I'm a gentleman when it comes to women like that

[neverwouldiever]

Well. She's a ship, for starters, so how would you even...

You know, I'm not sure I want to know.

[recidivates]

She's sentient. If she consents, I can find a way. Trust me, done it before.

[neverwouldiever]

How...

Gods. I always did hear that being curious was my biggest flaw.

[recidivates]

I can't say until I look but a lot of the time, the ships have their own ideas how it's done.

This one ship had some very naughty cables that went some interesting places. If you follow my drift.

[neverwouldiever]

Alright, alright, you can back off right there. The only one working on the TARDIS cables and everything else is me.

[recidivates]

Cool your jets, I said I wouldn't. Unless she wants it. Then you're not her dad, she can fuck whoever she wants.

[neverwouldiever]

Blah blah blah.

Just stay out of the Time Vortex.