IC Inbox

[neverwouldiever]

For any and all texting and other nonsense.

Comments

[chronosexual]

I envy your situation. You've got a camera on your phone, right? Send me a photo.

Nah. Just sort of happens when you're out there, bored, and meddling with time, as I'm sure you see it. We're just very sexually liberal. What's wrong with that?

[neverwouldiever]

OKAY!

[And, yes, the Doctor is drunk enough that there actually is a picture. Granted, it's badly lit, mostly focuses on a purple silk dress and part of his thumb, but there is some naked flesh. Could be a thigh! Or a shoulder. Exciting.]

Oh, nothing wrong with that at all, as long as everyone's consenting. Tell you a secret, Jack, no one knows it anymore, only I do.

Shhhhhh.

The Time Lords all sucked.

And not in a good way.

:D :D :D

after a few minutes of trying to decipher what the hell he's seeing

[chronosexual]

Very erotic, Doctor. Thank you.

Why did the Time Lords suck? Can they be taught the good way? I could teach. I'm a very good teacher.

[neverwouldiever]

You're welcome! Send me one!!!

Oh, they were boring. And prudish. And obsessed with rules. 's why I took off, y'know. I'm actually a terrible Time Lord. Not now, now I'm the best. Funny how that goes.

[chronosexual]

As you wish

[ Soon enough comes a rather provocative photo of Jack shot from above. He's holding his dick and smiling in a suggestive manner. ]

Are you also the best at sucking?

[neverwouldiever]

Huh. How did you take that?

[Yes. That's what he's focusing on.]

Always had an oral fixation. ;)

[chronosexual]

I've got two hands, believe it or not.

Have you? Tell me more about it. What do you like to suck on?

[neverwouldiever]

I know that! You have two of most of the important things. Well, apart from hearts. No wonder you people are all so slow. I was just wondering about the angle! Good picture.

Er. Well, mostly I lick things to taste what they're made of.

[chronosexual]

You like it? I'd love one of you like that. Kind of hard to see through the... fabric?

I've got something you can lick. Hint: It's in that photo I sent.

[neverwouldiever]

Well. I can try.

[He does, valiantly. There are even two pictures. One has just his thumb. The next is very blurry, because he evidently can't keep still. But he's definitely a naked blur!]

I can't lick that, silly. I'm all the way over here and also back then, not there and now.

[chronosexual]

You have a time machine, don't you? You should use it to get back here so I can take some halfway decent photos for you to send to me. I get lonely.

[neverwouldiever]

You're asking me to go all the way forward to you, land in Torchwood, run around naked the whole time and all that just so you can do a photo shooting?

Nah.

[chronosexual]

Doesn't have to just be photos. I'm fairly certain that I could make it worth your while. Place is empty and it's got *great* acoustics

[neverwouldiever]

...Captain Jack Harkness, you can film your porno movies without me!

[chronosexual]

But I'd much rather do it with you. Hence why I texted you in the first place.

[neverwouldiever]

Does that ever work for you? You are terrible at this. Is this how you seduce people? You're just lucky you look good.

[chronosexual]

I don't get this oversexed just by being cute. Though it helps.

It's more effective in person, trust me.

[neverwouldiever]

Pretty sure it's mainly that. Humans are horny, everyone knows that.

I could seduce you from here!

[chronosexual]

Only because you know I'm already seduced. You're so mean to me.

I want another photo to make up for that.

[neverwouldiever]

[He just sends a picture of his face, but at least it's a very clear picture. And, yes, he's sticking his tongue out.]

If I knew where the TARDIS was right now I'd so be over there. Give you a spanking.

[chronosexual]

Don't make promises you can't keep, Doctor.

[neverwouldiever]

Have you met me? I do that all the time.

If I can promise people they'll survive, I can promise you an orgasm.

Ohh, drinking makes me bitter.

[chronosexual]

Clearly. Let's work on getting you happy again. If you could pick any place in the universe to have sex at, where would it be?

[neverwouldiever]

The TARDIS.

Haven't done that in a while.

[chronosexual]

Really? That's all? Seems kind of... vanilla, don't you think?