IC Inbox

[neverwouldiever]

For any and all texting and other nonsense.

Comments

[chronosexual]

Are you in the past or future? I'm pretty sure you just described King William

[neverwouldiever]

What's past? What's future? What William? Why do all these kings have the same names?

Hey, did you say you were naked? I'm naked too!

It's like we're naked friends.

[chronosexual]

How much wine have you had? Not that I'm complaining, just wondering.

We could be better naked friends if we were in the same room, you know.

[neverwouldiever]

Welllllllllllllllllllll you have to drink when a queen throws a party for you. It's rude otherwise. What a party, you'd have liked it!

Why would that make us better? We'd be the same amount of naked.

[chronosexual]

You never invite me to these things. I'm beginning to think you don't like me.

It would make us better friends because we'd be together. Don't you like spending time with your friends, Doctor?

[neverwouldiever]

I like you! I couldn't invite you, it wasn't my party, it was just thrown for me! Also, you are getting enough partying wherever you are.

Sure. That's why I make friends everywhere. Do you like bananas? I need to go somewhere that has bananas.

[chronosexual]

I'm never getting enough partying, Doctor. I assure you of that.

I do like bananas. Do they not have bananas where you are?

[neverwouldiever]

It's a closet. They have nothing here, just silk gowns.

Soft though.

Heh.

I'm in the closet.

[chronosexual]

why are you in a queen's closet? Are there guards after you now?

[neverwouldiever]

Dunno if they're still after me, I forgot in what direction the exit is.

Heh. Queen's closet.

Were you ever in the closet, Jack?

[chronosexual]

Not really. Where I'm from, it didn't really matter much. Especially once I got into the Time Agency.

But enough about me, let's talk about your closet situation. Both literal and metaphorical.

[neverwouldiever]

's lovely, for a closet. I still have wine! Just no clothes.

Something wrong about my priorities maybe.

Every Time Agent I've met was a horny bastard, was that part of the hiring process? 's like the opposite of the standard for Time Lords.

[chronosexual]

I envy your situation. You've got a camera on your phone, right? Send me a photo.

Nah. Just sort of happens when you're out there, bored, and meddling with time, as I'm sure you see it. We're just very sexually liberal. What's wrong with that?

[neverwouldiever]

OKAY!

[And, yes, the Doctor is drunk enough that there actually is a picture. Granted, it's badly lit, mostly focuses on a purple silk dress and part of his thumb, but there is some naked flesh. Could be a thigh! Or a shoulder. Exciting.]

Oh, nothing wrong with that at all, as long as everyone's consenting. Tell you a secret, Jack, no one knows it anymore, only I do.

Shhhhhh.

The Time Lords all sucked.

And not in a good way.

:D :D :D

after a few minutes of trying to decipher what the hell he's seeing

[chronosexual]

Very erotic, Doctor. Thank you.

Why did the Time Lords suck? Can they be taught the good way? I could teach. I'm a very good teacher.

[neverwouldiever]

You're welcome! Send me one!!!

Oh, they were boring. And prudish. And obsessed with rules. 's why I took off, y'know. I'm actually a terrible Time Lord. Not now, now I'm the best. Funny how that goes.

[chronosexual]

As you wish

[ Soon enough comes a rather provocative photo of Jack shot from above. He's holding his dick and smiling in a suggestive manner. ]

Are you also the best at sucking?

[neverwouldiever]

Huh. How did you take that?

[Yes. That's what he's focusing on.]

Always had an oral fixation. ;)

[chronosexual]

I've got two hands, believe it or not.

Have you? Tell me more about it. What do you like to suck on?

[neverwouldiever]

I know that! You have two of most of the important things. Well, apart from hearts. No wonder you people are all so slow. I was just wondering about the angle! Good picture.

Er. Well, mostly I lick things to taste what they're made of.

[chronosexual]

You like it? I'd love one of you like that. Kind of hard to see through the... fabric?

I've got something you can lick. Hint: It's in that photo I sent.

[neverwouldiever]

Well. I can try.

[He does, valiantly. There are even two pictures. One has just his thumb. The next is very blurry, because he evidently can't keep still. But he's definitely a naked blur!]

I can't lick that, silly. I'm all the way over here and also back then, not there and now.

[chronosexual]

You have a time machine, don't you? You should use it to get back here so I can take some halfway decent photos for you to send to me. I get lonely.

[neverwouldiever]

You're asking me to go all the way forward to you, land in Torchwood, run around naked the whole time and all that just so you can do a photo shooting?

Nah.

[chronosexual]

Doesn't have to just be photos. I'm fairly certain that I could make it worth your while. Place is empty and it's got *great* acoustics