Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and other Sounds

[neverwouldiever]

The adventures of John Hart and Jack Harkness, sometimes guest-starring the Doctor.





Sexting Meme threads:

Doctor and John
Jack and John
Doctor and Jack

Comments

[neverwouldiever]

It's better for me to travel alone. And there is still a lot to do. Somehow avoid marrying a queen, for instance.

[recidivates]

Kill her? I mean, just saying, you can't marry the dead. Well, you can, but it's fucked up and very few planets will let you escape without a sentence.

[neverwouldiever]

...great suggestion. I'll go with: No. But thanks for playing!

[recidivates]

Killjoy.

If you ever change your mind, I'm always for hire.

[neverwouldiever]

Trust me. One way or another, I have you beat in that department.

[recidivates]

I wouldn't be shocked if a lunatic like you was good at my kind of work but trust me, you can't do what I can do.You wouldn't even get through a day.

[neverwouldiever]

I have no interest doing what you do. Especially not what you do right now, mind. So what are you doing right now?

[recidivates]

Sitting in a cell again. Jack grounded me for being naughty.

Got bored and it was either text you or have a wank. I'm not that pathetic and horny yet so here I am.

[neverwouldiever]

Jack might like to have that on tape though.

What naughty thing did you do?

[recidivates]

Pretty much why I decided against it.

Threw some insults, some punches, some taunts about his boyfriend. Same old, same old.

[neverwouldiever]

Here I thought you might like showing off.

Boyfriend? Oh, right, Ianto. Well. You would, I suppose.

[recidivates]

Not when he's being a dick.

What do you mean I would? I haven't got any issues with Ianto Jones. What a guy, very fuckable.

[neverwouldiever]

Is fuckable a word? ...

I just researched, by your time it actually did become a word. Oh, humanity.

Anyway, still seems obvious you'd taunt, don't you think?

[recidivates]

Told you. It was in the dictionary when I was at school. Right by fucktastic.

I'm not jealous of the tea boy, thanks. And no, I'm not being cocky. I'm really not. I pity any man who falls in love with Captain Jack Harkness.

[neverwouldiever]

I'll stick with fantastic, I believe.

I haven't said anything about you being jealous. I just reckoned you'd go for effective taunts. Are you jealous?

And funny. So do I.

[recidivates]

You were hinting. You think you're smarter than you are but you're not. Your double talk needs more work.

Like I said, not jealous. Honestly, right now, I just feel bored. Bored, horny and a little violent.

[neverwouldiever]

You're paranoid, I didn't talk double.

Anyway, good about not wanking then. Wouldn't want to hurt yourself during that. So. How did you taunt?

[recidivates]

Not a paranoid man, I just know what you're like. You strike me as the kind of man who prefers head games to combat.

A little pain feels good, you know? It'd help me a long actually. And I'm not saying.

[neverwouldiever]

Well, sure. Although that's partly because you can rarely solve problems with fencing. Or cricket.

A little, maybe. And why not? Ashamed?

[recidivates]

Well, yeah, turn up to fence someone in a proper fight and we'll ram your sword up your arse in seconds. Trust me, I know. I did something similar once.

No, just not saying. Got nothing to do with you, Doc.

[neverwouldiever]

Hence why I fence less and talk more. Sometimes both at once! Usually works. Well. Works sometimes, at least. My arse remains unrammed.

Again, here I'd have thought you'd like showing off.

[recidivates]

Really? That's a shame. Looking for someone to ram it? Cause I have several ideas already.

Not showing off for you. I don't need to impress you nor do I want to.

[neverwouldiever]

Sounds a little painful for my tastes.

What, no impressive ramming?

[recidivates]

You wouldn't agree to it so it's moot.

You want to fuck and I can make it as impressive as you want. But you'll never be up for it.

[neverwouldiever]

I have high standards.

So what's the problem? Ianto's are high too?